Sometimes, with this horse-thing-jones-monkey-habit, I feel like I’m in love, like when I was a teenager and had some big huge crush on someone — or like when I was an adult and had a big huge crush on David Duchovny.  The Duchovny thing helped keep me sane in a weird sort of way so that’s another topic for another time.

I guess the parallel is, however, that both of these things, horses and David Duchovny, have pole-axed me as an adult.  Adults don’t get crushes on TV stars and adults do not fall in love with horses to the extent that when they’ve got a spare minute in their brains, they fantasize about grooming.

Love is also a big fat pain in the butt because it’s so consuming and distracting.  Up until the time I met my husband, love was always a bad idea because it was the first notice that disappointment and heartbreak and stupidity were the next stops on the Love Train.  And even when I knew how I felt about my husband-to-be, I was mad (“You sound angry,” he said when I told him that I loved him.  “I am!” I shot back. Fortunately, he was patient and waited for me to learn that the love feelings were reciprocated and I wasn’t up Love Creek without an oar).

Sometimes the horse thing feels like that.  Not that I want the horse to call me up and ask me out for a date or send me flowers or that I expect the horse to behave itself because it “really” understands me. The horse is a horse and it does its horse-thing which includes hanging out with other horses and getting plenty to eat and several naps.

On my end, the times between lessons and rides have become . . . the times between lessons and rides.  How many days until I can ride again?  When’s my next lesson?  Oh dang, I’ve got to reschedule! Darned thunderstorm!! Life? Shopping? Huh?

To quote the J. Geils Band:  “I’ve had the blues, the reds and the pinks.  I’ve had it all.  Love stinks (Love stinks!) Love stinks.”



Filed under Epiphanies

2 responses to “Love

  1. I just watched Carla and Connie (my new favorite bluesy day movie — showtunes! David Duchovny!) so, you know, if you haven’t seen it — he’s in it! (And showtunes!)

  2. Adults don’t get crushes on TV/movie stars? Yikes. How do I explain my thing for Viggo Mortensen in _Lord of the Rings_? Nobody’s ever going to believe it’s purely intellectual.

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